Balance and Outsiderness

This week I finalised my paperwork at the university and Bunbun’s kindergarten; at both places I felt like an outsider, excruciatingly so. At the university I was surrounded by eager undergrads and seasoned staff while I towed my three year old behind me getting lost in the construction mandated detours; I was ably assisted by an extremely nice professor though, and the admin staff were very helpful too so the outsiderness did not weigh on me so much.

At the kindergarten it was less so; class based outsiderness is difficult to overcome. Student status is very much linked with low socio-economic status (mostly for the short term but it isn’t like we’re in this for the big money) and it was painfully obvious how different my family is. One car, so we will walk to kindy. Healthcare card. No private schooling. No outside classes.

But I have innumerable privileges. I’ve spent much of the last week organising repairs to our house rather than studying – but we own a house. We own a car too. I am at home with my daughter, a privilege not open to all families (for all the sacrifices we made). It means I have so far been interrupted in my morning’s readings for morning tea, toileting, to create a pair of felt socks, to comment on the felt creations and to clean up the mess from those things. All to the soundtrack of either Madagascar or Bunbun’s version of The Sound of Music. But I am at home, with my brief moments to study, between the jobs of parenting and being the person on the ground at home.

In other words, I’ve fallen behind on the ‘article a day’ already…

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